The Ha Ha Hotties

It would be awesome if I were sitting around at a table in a diner right now, talking about comedy with comics. Instead, I am typing on my old, used computer, my cigarette smoke mingling with the pleasant smell of a Glade scented candle, the "Monk" series finale playing in the background.

I just got home from performing in an all-female stand-up comedy showcase called, "The Ha-Ha-Hotties" produced by The Edge Comedy Club at the Chicago Center for the Performing Arts.

It's the second time I've done this showcase. I love it because there is a great comfort in performing with the same gender. Age and weight jokes are parr for the course. But even though I find it comforting, I am still challenged by the other comics, which is so healthy. And like all healthy things, I hate them when I am experiencing them, but so grateful for the results.

 I was intimidated by the looks and ages of the other women, but at the end of it all, it was the range of material that scared and inspried me. Ultimately, it was all the other comic's material that made me laugh.

I've been doing performing stand-up comedy consistently since this summer, since July or August. I am such a newcomer, such a babe, an old, tattooed babe, in the comedy woods.

This past June I turned 40 years old and for the year leading up to my 40th birthday, the idea of trying stand-up comedy was in my brain. The thought turned into a fear, an obsession and after some mulling it-over, prayer and counsel with friends, it turned into a goal. I've never had a real goal in my life. I've done some things, and finished some of those things even. But outside of a man or getting wasted, I've rarely pursued much.. Mostly I've fallen into things I like. But I'm funny, and I've come to realize that this is my skill and it's almost my duty to try to craft, shape and deliver being funny.

I wish my life were different in many ways as I pursue being a stand-up comic. I wish I didn't have to work a day job so I could stay up late and go to more open mics. I wish I had started younger. I wish I didn't have to wrestle with my own immaturities of making studio time for my writing. But I cannot change these things, aside from getting fired from a job I am lucky to have and often enjoy. I wish I would have watched the "Monk" series when it first aired on television.

I have the stuff to try it right now. I just pray that I increase the momentum and go somewhere with it, arriving just as I am.

Really fucking funny.